Dear 31,

Nearly halfway through the 11 day binge on #fairlife. A warm and sunny Monday lead to the first fair day that included sunscreen. 

5/11 : Horsing Around

• Winning the ugliest cake contest doesn't seem that hard. There. I said it. Sorry to the sweet boys and girls who participated, and to the kid who made a cake that looks like an ashtray-- you do deserve a ribbon. That was clever. My ugliest cake contest would depict the standstill traffic in the Varied Industries building. There'd be lots of strollers, children bolting through the sea of legs covered in temporary tattoos, people stopping to pick up free yard sticks and live demonstrations of knives and ladders that extend. What's the age limit on the Chuck E. Cheese Ugliest Cake Contest? Maybe next year I'll win 100 game tickets and one large pizza.
• You can literally can anything, you guys. I'm going to can whole potatoes someday. And enter a State Fair contest. (Watch out year 32 list.)

• The horse barn is the least smelly of all the barns. I can't even walk near the poultry barn without gagging, but the horse barn seems tidy. Horses are legit giants with better hygiene that turkeys. Some of them wear horseshoe slipper things when they walk. Horseshoe slippers make the sound of lady heels when they clack the horse barn's floors.
• Today I helped a lost kid, Carter, find his mom. His grandmother, who popped over with a root beer float and an "ain't no thang" attitude after about 15 minutes without Carter, did not thank us for the reunion. I even asked, "hey Carter, do you know these people?" because the interaction seemed way less frantic than it should have been. Carter, who never really seemed that upset, took the free water I gave him (state fair waters go for like $3 a pop, maybe Carter was actually scamming me for a free cold one?) did not know his mom's name, but did confirm that his "brudder" was 4. Good lesson: make sure future kid knows my actual name. 

Today I ate no State Fair foods. There should be a blue ribbon awarded for that. 

xo-LP